The B.F.C

It's really big..."that's what she said"
 
This beefed up mac daddy dwarfs all of the other fortune cookies in the school yard. It measures ~ 5" x 5" and has clearly been spending too much time at the gym.
 
It comes loaded with 6 regular sized fortune messages or one large message and has been rumoured to keep a person alive on a deserted island in excess of 97 days.