Savage Insults Fortune Cookies

Buy more & save:
Buy 4+ boxes and get $5 off each — mix and match any themed sets.

A collection of unfiltered, aggressive, and laugh-out-loud insult-style messages that hit hard and get reactions.

⚠️ Mature content. Not suitable for all audiences.
Best enjoyed with friends who can take a joke.

Example messages may include:

It looks like your face caught fire and someone tried to put it out with a hammer

Your family tree must be a cactus because everybody on it is a prick

There is a glass full of "Shut the fuck up" on the table, why don't you have some

And many more inside every box

Each box includes a curated mix of messages from our growing fortune library — designed to shock, amuse, and spark reactions.

Rather than receiving a fixed set of repeated messages, every dozen features a rotating selection that keeps each cookie bold, unpredictable, and impossible to ignore.

Perfect for friends who can take a joke, parties that don’t take themselves too seriously, and anyone who prefers their humor with no filter.

Each dozen includes a variety of messages selected from this theme and may differ slightly from box to box.

Each cookie is handmade using our custom recipe, creating a crisp, buttery flavor that’s a noticeable upgrade from traditional fortune cookies.